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Friday, September 5, 2014

Abstaining from Sex Until Marriage (Part 4: OBEDIENCE vs. option)

Part 4: OBEDIENCE vs. option

I said that preserving virginity is a choice, but now it is obedience, I was confused as you are but I realized that obedience is also a choice, whether you follow God's call or not, is still up to you. 

You have the option not to follow God's plan. God love us so much that is why He gave us the free will to decide on our own. If things are being imposed, we are like robots following mechanically and not freely.

But what are the benefits of obeying God's call to purity, They are too many to mention, here are some benefits of obeying God's call to purity:

  • 》You are 100% sure that you wont become a parent until you are married and ready.
  • 》Moving on is easier if the relationship falls apart and leads to break-up.
  • 》You will develop a strong relationship with the person you are dating.
  • 》Strengthens your relationship with your parents and friends because you wont be hiding anythin
  • 》For women: You will know that the person you love is interested in building a relationship with you, emotionally and spiritually and not with your body.

Previously: HONOR vs. human urge

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Abstaining from Sex until Marriage (Part 3: HONOR vs. human urge)

Part 3: HONOR vs. human urge

I read in one of showbiz news that a guy's first kiss with his wife is right after their wedding. For me this act is honorable, his gesture is symbolic.

As we know (even if I will not mentioned their names) The wife was involved in a controversy, It would be easier for the guy to take advantage of her past but instead, chose the path less traveled. He chose to honor her wife, by not kissing her lips (and abstaining from sex) until they got married, restoring her dignity and her purity tainted by the controversy. 

As we aged, human urges (in this case sexual urges) will subside and will soon be gone but honoring your future spouse by not engaging in sex before marriage is lifetime, you will both remember it for the rest of your life. 

My wife and I are blessed and do not regret the path we chose and we are now enjoying the beauty of sex. Sex is not just human urge, it also includes relationship and a blessing from God.  

Asking someone to fulfill your sexual desire is selfish and abusive even if the person you are dating is willing.

Sexual intercourse lasted only for a few minutes but the honor you give your future spouse is lifetime. Besides, love is proven not just by removing ones clothes but by honoring and respecting woman. 

Love can be express in many ways, sex is just one of them and should be in the context of marriage.  

Previously: COURAGE vs. criticism

Abstaining from Sex Until Marriage (Part 2: COURAGE vs. criticism)

Part 2: COURAGE vs. criticism

Choosing to preserve virginity until marriage needs a lot of courage, more so, declaring it.  You will make yourself vulnerable to criticism, people may accused you of being self righteous or worst they wont believe you at all. 

In today's society, its kind of normal to engage in PMS (premarital sex) but the truth is, it is just being tolerated. Why?, some says its more practical, some said they love each other anyway, so it is not bad to do it outside of marriage. The more people who do PMS the more it became accepted. Many people may say, "Everybody is doing it anyway", I don't think so, there are lots of people who are courageous enough to chose this path, courageous because we are opposing what is "normal".

Honestly, it is just today that I found the courage to tell my story. I was afraid of the criticism and I was afraid of questions that people may ask me. Questions that I might not able to answer. I am not convincing you, This is just an honest to goodness testimony, I don't mind if I will be criticized after this, at least I was able to write what I want to write a long long time ago. 

Previously: Introduction

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Abstaining from Sex Until Marriage (Part 1: Introduction)


I wrote this article not for anyone else but for my two daughters who are still young. This is my own way of preparing them when they reach the legal age. If you think this is useful, thank you but if it is not, don't read this. I have no intention of  hurting anyone else or giving lecture. This is my own thoughts and I just want to express it for my kids.

Part 1: Introduction 

Virginity is one of the most controversial and sensitive issue that anyone could discuss, In fact, I kept my own thoughts on this for years before I broke my silence today.

I was inspired by the confession of a showbiz personality that she is still a virgin and will not have sex before marriage. I thought that it is a courageous effort on her part. People may ridicule her, some may raise their eye brows, or shrug their shoulders as if saying "who cares". Many were criticized because of their declaration on preserving their virginity, physical or spiritual virginity (spiritual or secondary virginity is about people who lost their virginity but decided not to have sex again until marriage).

Is this all about morality?, I am gonna be in trouble if I say yes. I believe it is a C.H.O.I.C.E., preserving virginity or not having sex before marriage is a choice and this is not just for people who follow the teaching of the bible and the church. Choice is for everyone, choice is free will. 

There are six things (probably there are more) I want to highlight on why I chose this path using the letters from the word "CHOICE".

Next: COURAGE vs. criticism

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