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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

We Lost Our Baby

My wife was pregnant for about 3 ½ months when she had a miscarriage last April 19, 2007; it was the longest day in our lives…

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It happened at around 2:30 am, I was awakened by my wife’s call, “Pa!, lumabas si baby.” I couldn't believe what I’ve heard… maybe I am just dreaming… I hoped. I rushed her in the nearby hospital. I waited at the hallway while she’s in the operating room; every minute seems to be endless…

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Around 4:30 am, Her Doctor called me and gave my unborn child, I held my lifeless child in my arms, let him/her feel my embrace, my heartbeat, my love and all my pain. I told my child, “I love you, baby, sorry if we were not able to take good care of you.” I cried and turned to God and asked, “Can I still worship you after what had happened?’, and the answer is clear in my heart, and it is a “Yes”. Despite of what had happened, I’m still grateful, I’m still thankful and I still believe in God. I worshipped Him, Sing Him praises and composed a song for Him…

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“Even if I am hurting inside,
Even if my heart is broken,
I want to worship You…

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I waited for another 2 hours for my wife, All I wanted that time is to see her that she’s okay. I saw in her eyes how sorry she was, I told her that it’s not her fault…

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Words of comfort and sympathy poured through text messages, thanks to our loving friends in the community (Light of Jesus Community), it’s easier to bare the pain with them.

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We baptized our child (it was also baptized by a priest), we named him/her “Gab”, It could have been, Rwen Gabrielle (if Girl) or Rwin Gabriel (if boy), I used my tears to baptized Gab and told him/her how sorry we are for what had happened. We both prayed and thanked Him for crying with us and for embracing us in our moment of sorrow and grief.

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Yesterday morning is a brand new day for me and my wife, a time to reflect and to move on and face the coming days, with tears, I sung…

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Basta’t tayo’y magkasama,
Laging mayro’ng umagang kay ganda,
Bawat sikat ng araw, may dalang liwanag,
Ang ating pangarap,
Haharapin natin.

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She smiled… we embraced…

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It happened with a purpose and we know that God have plans for us. In the Bible, Job lost everything but God returned it to him, sevenfold and I know that God will do the same to us.

 

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